How To Find a Counselor
You have finally decided it’s time to make a change. You are feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or depressed. You may be feeling guilt and that you are letting others down. Or maybe you are letting yourself down. You have heard that counseling can be helpful, but are a little nervous about the process and aren’t really sure where to start. You decide to Google “counselors in (insert your city or town here)” and you get several counseling websites, Psychology Today profiles, or other random pages that may not apply to what you are looking for.
Now what?
For some people, the overwhelm of finding a counselor is enough to deter from engaging at all. You are left feeling the same, and now have the added frustration of feeling like support is unavailable for you. But hold on. It doesn’t have to be quite so hard. Research has consistently shown that the largest contributor to positive change through counseling is the “therapeutic relationship.” How you connect with the counselor is more important than treatment approach, frequency of sessions, or severity of your symptoms (aka, how bad you feel).
Here are a few things to consider when looking for a therapist, and also when deciding if the person you meet is the right counselor for you.
Searching for a counselor:
Do a Google search for counselors in your area. Examples: "counseling in Colorado Springs, CO" or "therapist in Woodland Park, CO"
It can be helpful to specify your search more closely to what you are struggling with or what you are looking for, especially in larger cities. Examples: "Counseling for parenting in Woodland Park, CO" or "Therapy for postpartum anxiety in Colorado Springs, CO" or "online counseling in Colorado"
Look at the various clinician's websites and the content of each site. Do you like the feel of the website? Can you relate to the blog posts? If you feel that what they are offering aligns with what you want out of therapy, then it’s worth meeting them. If you don’t…move on to the next one.
Some therapists don’t have websites and instead use directories like Psychology Today, Therapy Tribe, or Good Therapy. While these sites can be great for searching multiple therapists in one place, please know that those directories are not an exhaustive list of who may be able to help you. I encourage looking at a mix of websites and directories.
Ask your doctor if they have suggestions on a counselor. Doctors often have some resources available for counseling practices that help support the patients they serve.
Ask a friend. We are not afraid to ask people for recommendations on doctors, car dealers, or hair stylists, so it makes sense to ask people you trust for recommendations on counselors. Right?
Just pick! You may notice that you are getting overwhelmed with finding the “right” person just based on online searches, and the overwhelm can cause you to not reach out to anyone. Trust me when I say, it is better to take the step to connect with someone than to avoid taking the step because you are not sure if it’s the perfect one.
How do you know if they are right for you?
Do you enjoy talking with this person?
Do you feel that they are listening to you and that they put your interests first over pushing their own agenda?
Do they make you feel comfortable, even if they are nudging you to talk about or do hard stuff?
Did they treat you like you are the expert on your own life, or did they just try and tell you what to do?
Did you jointly come up with a plan for working together?
Did you leave the first session feeling empowered, hopeful, and optimistic??? This is a big one. I’m a big believer that if you feel down, hopeless, or defeated every time you leave a therapy session then it is probably not the right fit. And let’s be honest, who wants to keep doing that? Therapy can be hard, but it should be the type of hard that leaves you encouraged that you are moving in the right direction.
I often tell my clients that they can look at therapists like they would a doctor, dentist, or hair stylist. Using a hairstylist as an example, if you go to a new person and hate your haircut would you go back to that same stylist again? Probably not. But would you just decide to never get your haircut again? Also probably not. You would go try another hairstylist until you found one you love! Same with counseling. There are a lot of counselors out there, and each has a different personality, approach, and style. With a little patience, and maybe a little persistence, you can find the right person for you.
If you feel that your relationship tendencies or patterns, chronic stress, anxiety, or mood concerns are getting in the way of quality relationships with your partner, children, or friends, let's chat. Counseling may be a good way to address barriers, develop skills, and fully engage with the people you love. I offer a specialized and modern approach to individual and couples counseling in Woodland Park, Manitou Springs, Colorado Springs, and online throughout Colorado.
