Navigating Sensory Overload as a Mom [A Licensed Therapist’s Guide]
Have you even been somewhere that felt too loud? Too crowded? Maybe a concert or a crowded restaurant. Maybe you want to enjoy the environment, but your body starts to feel overwhelmed. You notice you start feeling irritable and get frustrated with the overlapping sounds. The sense that you don't have the space to move around leaves you feeling pretty out of control. And you just feel the urge to leave. To get out of that space and step outside where it is quieter and more calm.
I bet we have all had a similar experience in some context. For many parents, this type of overstimulation can happen regularly in our own homes. It is not the fault of anyone or anything in particular. But the consistent noise (kids are noisy!), questions, or physical touch can lead to overstimulated parents.
If this sounds familiar, you're not alone. Keep reading.
What is sensory overload?
Sensory overload occurs when one or more of the body's senses are overstimulated to the point where the individual becomes overwhelmed and has difficulty processing the incoming sensory information. This can be triggered by a variety of stimuli such as loud noises, bright lights, strong smells, crowded environments, excessive physical touch, or a combination of these factors.
Individuals who have ADHD, Autism, a sensory processing disorder, or are a highly sensitive person may be more susceptible to overstimulation, but it can happen to anyone.
Parents, especially those with young kids, often feel bad about struggling with sensory overload. It is so common and with the right awareness and approach, you can learn to cope with overstimulation.
Sensory overload triggers for moms
Think about this scenario...
You're at home with your three children. Two are wrestling on the floor while listening to music. You're trying to get dinner ready and the hamburgers are frying on the stove. Your toddler falls and starts crying, then runs to you to hold them. You pick them up to comfort, and they don't want to be put down. Your dog starts barking because someone has pulled into the driveway. Your husband walks in and comes to give you a hug and ask about your day. Right then your phone rings.
Just based on this short, but typical, parenting experience let's look at all the ways your nervous system is being prompted.
Kids wrestling and playing on the floor.
The sound of music.
Hamburgers frying
Toddler falls
Crying
Holding your toddler
Dog barking
Husband's touch
Phone ringing
All of these events activate your sensory system by one or more of your five senses- touch, sound, sight, hearing, and smell. When your body is getting too much sensory input at once, even in the routine of everyday life, it can lead to overwhelming moments. This can feel like anxiety, burnout, irritability, or having zero energy.
You can learn more about sensory sensitivity and it's possible impact on parenting styles and attachment here.
Recognizing the signs of sensory overload
Let's talk about specific symptoms you might experience if your nervous system is activated and you are in a moment of overstimulation.
Physical signs of sensory overload
Increased Heart Rate: The body's response to stress can cause an elevated heart rate.
Sweating: Overstimulation can lead to increased perspiration.
Headaches: Intense sensory input can trigger headaches or migraines.
Nausea: Overwhelming sensory information may cause feelings of nausea or dizziness.
Muscle Tension: The body might react to stress with muscle tightness or tension.
Shaking or Trembling: The individual might experience trembling or shaking, particularly in the hands.
Fatigue: Sensory overload can be exhausting, leading to physical fatigue.
Clenching Jaw or Grinding Teeth: Stress responses might include clenching the jaw or grinding teeth.
Shallow Breathing or Hyperventilation: Breathing patterns may become rapid or shallow in response to overload.
Emotional signs of sensory overload
Irritability or Agitation: Increased sensitivity can lead to feelings of frustration and irritability.
Anxiety or Panic: Overwhelming sensory input may trigger feelings of anxiety or panic attacks.
Emotional Outbursts: Individuals may experience sudden crying, yelling, or other emotional outbursts.
Feeling Overwhelmed: A pervasive sense of being unable to cope with the sensory input.
Mood Swings: Rapid changes in mood, including sudden sadness or anger.
Withdrawal: A tendency to retreat from social interactions or seek isolation to escape the sensory input.
Restlessness: An inability to relax or sit still due to overwhelming stimuli.
Confusion or Disorientation: Difficulty thinking clearly or focusing due to sensory overload.
Low Tolerance for Frustration: Decreased ability to handle even minor frustrations or challenges.
Hopelessness or Despair: In extreme cases, the overwhelming nature of sensory overload can lead to feelings of hopelessness or despair.
Behavioral signs of sensory overload
Fidgeting: Increased movements such as tapping, rocking, or pacing as a way to self-soothe.
Covering Ears or Eyes: Using hands, earplugs, or sunglasses to block out overwhelming sounds or lights.
Withdrawing: Pulling away from social interactions, conversations, or physical spaces to find relief. Scrolling on social media instead of interacting with the people around you.
Meltdowns: Intense, often explosive reactions that can include crying, screaming, or aggression.
Seeking Quiet Spaces: Moving to a quieter or darker environment to reduce sensory input.
Reduced Communication: Speaking less or using fewer words, or becoming nonverbal altogether.
Task Avoidance: Avoiding or procrastinating tasks that are overwhelming or involve challenging sensory environments.
18 coping strategies for overstimulated moms
Coping with sensory overload can be particularly challenging for mothers who often juggle multiple responsibilities and face constant demands. Here are some strategies that can help if you are feeling overstimulated.
Immediate Relief Strategies
1. Deep Breathing Exercises
Practice slow, deep breathing to calm the nervous system. I like to encourage what we call 4/6 breathing. Slowly breathe in for a count of four and then breathe out for a count of six. Empty the air out of your lungs with each out-breath. This will help lower your heart rate and initiate the parasympathetic nervous system, which allows your body to calm down.
2. Find a Quiet Space
Take five minutes to retreat to a quiet room or a less stimulating environment. It is ok, and encouraged, to step away from a loud or chaotic environment when it feels like too much. Just ensure your baby or child is safe in their crib or a space that you feel comfortable they won't get hurt.
3. Use Noise Cancelling Earplugs
Block out loud or constant noise to help reduce auditory overload. I believe noise-cancelling headphones or earplugs can be SO helpful. I use them myself and encourage other moms to do so as well.
4. Grounding Techniques
Focus on physical sensations like the feeling of your feet on the ground or holding a comforting object. The key here is to focus your attention on the more calming physical sensory inputs, not those that are overwhelming. This can be difficult for some in the moment, but it's worth experimenting with.
Daily Management Techniques
5. Slow Down and Limit Multitasking
Focus on one task at a time to avoid becoming overwhelmed by too many activities. This sounds counterintuitive when you're feeling overstimulated, but I encourage moms to literally stop what they're doing and go sit or lay on the couch or floor. Look around and remind yourself that you're safe and your kids are safe. Take a few minutes to breathe and just be there.
6. Set Boundaries
Establish limits on your availability and the tasks you take on to prevent overload.
7. Create a Routine
Develop a consistent daily schedule to provide structure and predictability.
8. Practice Mindfulness
Engage in mindfulness or meditation practices to stay present and reduce stress.
9. Take Breaks
Schedule regular breaks throughout the day to slow down.
10. Utilize Screen Time
Yes, I said it. It is completely ok to allow screen time for a little while so that you can relax. As a mom of three kids, I know the mom guilt that can come, but trust me. A little bit of screen time is better than a completely overstimulated mom who reacts in a way she doesn't feel good about. We all need support. And if there is not another parent or other adults around to offer that support, screen time can be a valuable asset.
Long-Term Strategies
11. Declutter Your Environment
Simplify your surroundings to reduce visual and cognitive distractions.
12. Take Care of Yourself
Make time for activities that nurture your well-being, such as exercise, hobbies, or time with friends or other parents.
13. Seek Support
Connect with friends, family, or support groups to share experiences and gain encouragement.
14. Delegate Tasks
Share responsibilities with your partner, older children, or hired help to lighten your load.
15. Professional Help
Consider talking to a therapist or counselor for strategies tailored to your specific needs.
Family Strategies
16. Establish Family Quiet Time
Designate a part of the day when everyone engages in quiet activities.
17. Teach Kids About Sensory Overload
Help your children understand what sensory overload is and how they can help by being mindful of noise and activity levels.
18. Create Sensory-Friendly Zones
Set up areas in your home that are calming and have minimal sensory input.
In my experience
I'll be honest, before I had kids I don't think I really understood the term "overstimulated parent." Sensory stimuli is a real thing and too much can limit anyone's ability to feel calm. At any given moment, anyone can experience overstimulation.
For me, having my third child really made me realize I needed more support and understanding in this area. Like many moms, I didn't recognize what was happening at first. I just wondered if maybe I couldn't handle three children and being constantly needed.
Once I was able to slow down and see what was happening, then I could implement skills, products, or routines to help. Personally, noise cancelling earplugs have been a game changer. I have ones where you can still hear and carry on a conversation, but it blocks the external background noise. When I can control the sound coming into my body at any moment, I quickly start feeling better...more calm. I have started to recommend them to every mom because they have been so helpful for me.
For other moms I work with, it is the physical body touch that cause them to feel overstimulated. Nursing, snuggles, hugs...they're all equally important for mom and kids, but for a highly sensitive person they can feel like too much. Putting your baby down for a few minutes or telling the kids that "mommy is a little touched out right now" is not being a bad parent. It it teaching your kids and family valuable lessons about personal space and boundaries.
Visit our Therapy For Moms page to learn more about our work with Colorado moms.
If you’re an overstimulated mom, you’re not alone.
If you feel like you're in the same boat with any of these symptoms or experiences, talking with a mental health professional can be helpful.
Please know that overstimulation for parents is common and very manageable. The mental load of a to do list along with caring for your kids in the moment does not have to impact your mental health or create a difficult family dynamic.
At Exploration Counseling, we work with moms and parents every day who feel overstimulated and want to approach their kids and their families differently. Understanding sensory processing is an important step in feeling empowered as a parent and knowing how to meet the needs of your child while also meeting your own.
